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The 7 Most Terrifying Pirates from History. Between Johnny Depp and numerous sports logos, pirates have become cartoon characters in modern culture. It\'s easy to forget that the real thing did exist, and that in many cases they were much more badass than the Hollywood version. Don\'t take the word . They were pirates, real pirates, not goofy caricatures. Here\'s proof. 7. Francois l\'Olonnais Eats a Fucking Heart, Holy Shitgreenmodels. French pirate Francois l\'Olonnais really, really hated Spain. Why Did Pirates Wear Eye Patches? Smart pirates \'wore a patch over one eye to keep it dark-adapted outside.\'. Dispelling Myths: The Pirate Eye Patch. Early in his pirating days, l\'Olonnais was almost killed by Spanish raiders, and instead of reconsidering his career choice and becoming a dairy farmer or something, he decided he would spend the rest of his life on an anti- Spain rampage. He let them know exactly what he intended by beheading everyone in the crew of a Spanish ship except one man, sending him back with this message: . Considering what happened next, it looks like those beheaded Spaniards were actually the lucky ones. Having made a reputation for himself, l\'Olonnais raised a pirate fleet of eight ships and hundreds of men and proceeded to terrorize the coast of South America, sacking Spanish- ruled cities, capturing treasure ships returning to Spain and generally being a huge pain in the ass to anything Spain- related. Presumably he also killed his fair share of Portuguese sailors during this time, because really who can tell the difference? Assuming they\'re all Spanish because they\'re having siestas is an odd point to make at 2 a. However, the situation was reversed when l\'Olonnais himself, returning from pillaging the coast of Venezuela, was ambushed by a much larger force of Spanish soldiers. With his pirate buddies being blown to pieces left and right, l\'Olonnais narrowly managed to escape and somehow captured a few Spanish hostages along the way. The problem now was that l\'Olonnais and the other survivors needed to know which way to escape so they didn\'t run into more Spanish ships, which they weren\'t in any condition to fight. What to do? Easy: l\'Olonnais drew his sword, sliced into one Spanish prisoner\'s chest, pulled out the heart with his hands and began to . The pirates escaped safely.
So if you were wondering what happened to all the heads of the decapitated Spaniards we mentioned earlier .. He led an entire pirate island in Louisiana, capturing ships and smuggling stolen goods into New Orleans. He was so successful that when the Governor of Louisiana offered a $3. Lafitte responded by offering a $1,0. Wikipedia. Apparently his reputation spread across the Atlantic, because in 1. Lafitte was approached by the British and handed a letter signed by King George III himself, promising citizenship and landholdings if he joined their side. Also, if he refused they would tear his little island to pieces, and sell it for scrap. Lafitte said he needed a few days to think about it .. The one time a pirate disregarded his order, Lafitte killed the guy himself. He was also known for treating captured crew well and sometimes returning their ships if they weren\'t fit for pirating. Lafitte was a hero among the people of New Orleans, since his smuggling operation allowed them to buy stuff they otherwise couldn\'t afford. Why, by raiding his island and locking up his men, figuring he was full of shit. It wasn\'t until badass future president Andrew Jackson stepped in and pointed out that New Orleans wasn\'t prepared for a British attack that the authorities agreed to release Lafitte\'s men if they agreed to assist the U. S. Navy - - which, at the time, consisted of a fraction of the ships in Lafitte\'s personal pirate fleet. Wikipedia. It\'s stuff like knowing how to count that makes a good president. It\'s a good thing, too, because the pirates were pretty much the only reason New Orleans didn\'t fall to the British, which would have been a huge strategic victory. New Orleans could have given the British a place to gather their forces before attacking the rest of the country. Think about it: The U. Suppliers of quality eye patches for cosmetic or therapeutic use. THE EYE PATCH STORE QUALITY EYE PATCHES FOR COSMETIC OR THERAPEUTIC USES. 10 of the Most Hardcore, Eyepatch Wearing Characters in Geekdom. She responded with an eye patch. Now when he goes to the playground he doesn\'t have an unsightly bandage on his eye, rather he has a cool pirate patch.
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